Hi my followers. This is a quick Hi. You have wondered if I have dropped off the planet.
I am currently working full-time and trying to adjust to 1000 changes. Things are a bit wobbly on all fronts. P’kaboo is pretty much dormant while I am trying to raise the capital for it in another way.
I have always held that my contribution to the world is more important than my creature comforts at home. And that my most important contribution to the world is how I raise my children; because they shall remain after I am gone.
I also like to think Iain and I left a legacy of music, in our students and in our family. I can’t be sure of this now as I’m far away from where they are and have lost track of how most of them are progressing (under other teachers); and as for my own children, nobody even bothers singing these days.
Iain and I, we worked stepwise from being a couple, to working together on our future, to creating something amazing, to making things work… our mindset was in synch. We had the same values, outlook and goals. This added up to tremendous enthusiasm, energy and drive to get things done, to the point that those things actually paid us our income.
These days they don’t. Iain and I used to feed off each other’s enthusiasm; we shored up each other’s fire. We fanned each other’s flames. Fanning one’s own flames is a lot more difficult, especially if the biggest desire is to sleep for 3 weeks and then do nothing.
This is me trying to find the magic again of what enabled both of us back then to create something from nothing so spectacularly. It seems to me that magic is being sucked out of me by everyone surrounding me thinking like an employee: Chop wood, carry water, get pay. 1 unit of work = 1 unit of pay.
Where is the excitement in that? Where’s the vibrancy? Where’s the LEVERAGE and the ENERGY?
And wait, here comes the other side of it:
If I can go into Aldi and get some Petits Fours, and that is already the pinnacle of my reward – why am I bothering at all?
I feel that I need to create something again. Not something inner or online, like a book or a website, but something live and spectacular, like a launch, a concert, a performance or something. I need to step out and DO something. Something that inspires others, something that makes waves.
Don’t talk me out of that!
~ gipsika ~