I come home and put down my keys, knowing that today I was very lucky – and so was my son. He was missed by something like two inches by the car of some stupid b*tch of a mom who came shooting through the parking lot next to the road at high speed and screeched to a halt to drop her kid off.
I should have got out and grabbed her by the collar and shaken her, demanded to see her driver’s license and laid a charge for attempted homicide. Does she always drive like that? Her brand-new little bubble car may be a clue to a high-flying but underpaid job – just the kind where middle management puts enough pressure on her that she’s always in a hurry.
Fine and well, woman, but your boss’s pleasure is not more important than someone else’s life! It doesn’t matter whether you get that promotion if you’re in prison doing time for manslaughter. Because insane crazies like you should not be running around free, let alone have a driver’s license! But prison time is not the worst you will be facing if you run down my kid. I can promise you this.
Have I never had a close shave? Yes I did: When I had just done my license and was coming around a corner with my VW Beetle, a kiddie on a bike drove into the road right ahead of me. He couldn’t have been older than 5. I stopped, of course; I wasn’t doing insane speeds. There was enough space to come to a complete halt and then some. I sent him home and told him not to drive on the road. The difference? If I’d been driving like that madwoman, that kid would definitely have been history.
I’ve also dodged uncounted doggies and pigeons and little night birds on the road. I once had two pigeons suicide themselves on my bumper. They fly faster than we drive, so there’s not always a chance of dodging them. The same does not apply to pedestrians.
When you drive, you need to be aware of everything that’s around you, at all times – not just the things in your direct trajectory. And for heavens’ sakes, where there are pedestrians or cyclists, slow down! Those few seconds will not cost you your precious promotion! (And if they do – why were you late in the first place?) Around schools it’s a no-brainer. Don’t exceed 30km/h and you’ll have ample time to stop for a kiddie who wasn’t looking. No, you’re not an evolutionary force if you drive over someone’s child. You’re an asshole. That child didn’t have to do a pedestrian license. It is you who is operating the dangerous machinery here. If you’re really that annoyed that you have to pass that school on your way to work, change your route!
But if you are a parent yourself dropping off a kid, I have no words for such driving. I don’t know what to tell you. You want your kid to die dreadfully? Because you know, the wheel turns…