That thing with the mojo

My mojo is still not back.

Well, mojo, to paraphrase Irish Rail:  “Tag off!” (*) If it doesn’t want to come along, I’ll just have to carry on without it.  It will either catch up with me along the way, or I’ll have to go on mojo-less.  Whatever.  I’m sure a lot of people do what they need to do and never check if they even had a mojo, ever.

In the interim I’m staggering around in my own mind and finding all sorts of forgotten treasures.

PNI is one of them.  We did a PNI session today, to clear out some “stuff” (**).  It’s as powerful as ever.  You don’t have to be a mage to work PNI.  It’s a therapy method, based on psychology and meditation techniques.

I’ve discovered what’s wrong with the Shooting Star series.  It’s the fun.  Solar Wind starts off being tons of fun.  There are ups and downs through the series, but the fun element remains.  I wrote Solar Wind in close collaboration with Hubbs, and a lot of funny ideas in there were comments he made. I wrote a lot of the fun stuff so I could hear him laugh out loud.  He was my primary audience and my best writing partner.

Got Wildest One to pick up her violin today and hold it for 1 minute.  Tomorrow it will be 2 minutes.  She isn’t allowed to focus on anything else in that time.  Baby steps.  I wanted to see if her emotional reaction (a violent “I don’t want to play”) is to the violin itself, the physical sensation of holding it, the sound… what triggers the reaction?  Apparently, not to the instrument or the sensation of holding it.  The 60 seconds were uneventful.  —  I’ve also put myself on a program of practising every day, and it’s beginning to make a difference – the technique in my hands is coming back.  As I said:  If it has to be, we’ll just carry on without the darned mojo.  If I have to wait for my mojo, I may have to wait forever.

My friend Eloise sent me a fantastic link on how to handle grief and trauma.  There’s a lot of sense in there.  Here it is:

He makes a lot of sense.

Sometimes it may seem to you, my blogpals, as though I have nothing but grief and trauma in my life at the moment.  This is not so.  There’s a lot going on, and I have to add that I feel I’m definitely in the right place.  Especially since Hurricane Ophelia, when my eyes were opened to the Irish spirit and the Irish sense of humour – both of which remind me so vibrantly of Hubbs, that is how he was!  Making light of a dire situation while sensibly doing all the right things.  Yes, I’m definitely in the right place.


I’m reminded of Bilbo’s song:  “The road goes ever on and on…”


(* “Tag off” is what they remind you to do with your leap card.  The leap card is a card that one can charge up with money and use for travel – bus and train – and get a bit of discount.  When getting on the train, you tag on; when getting off, you tag off.  To me it always sounds a bit like swearing.  “Oh, tag off!”)

(** “Stuff”: PNI jargon for unresolved issues)


5 thoughts on “That thing with the mojo

  1. Heartening to know that there is a feeling of identification with the people there.
    So strange, M’s reaction with the violin …
    I have also found that the best way of dealing with a recent (probably age-related) inability to remember half my repertoire of classical pieces, is to sit down and doggedly re-learn them. A satisfying outcome is that I am now playing by heart again the first Bach fugue I learnt, but now better than ever before.

    • Well done! 🙂
      I’m currently in the annoying position of having to source everything I can’t play off by heart, from IMSLP because my entire music library was (of course) left in Pretoria. I could have done myself the favour and at least taken my Bach Sonatas and Partitas…

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