“List, what list?”

In my mission to try to get Skype to work (secretly wishing the program had a connection to the Between so I could Skype my forever love), I came across all the usual common bugs and internet gripes.  10 000 passwords to recover, go to ancient email accounts you nearly forgot you opened 10 years back…  mainly to have a place for all the Facebook notifications to fall into without disturbing your normal flow of daily correspondence…  and I happened across a program called “Truthfinder”.

Truthfinder is touted to find really scary truths about people…  put in a name, and up come traffic offences, places the person has been, old aliases…  everything you hoped the NSA wouldn’t put together about you because it creepily reminds us of George Orwell’s “1984”.

I’m compulsive, so of course I tested it out.  (Are my e-toll bills up there?  Do I have a parking fine I’m not aware of?)

It didn’t find me.

It found someone else, different age, different name, different state…  of course I’m not American, so maybe this search is restricted to America.

It reminded me of one of our little Amway “strategies” (rather, just a little fun thing we used to do on occasion).  When someone turns you down for a meeting, for an opportunity to look at the business, you shrug and say, “Okay, then I’ll just take you off the list”.

List? What list?  I’m on a list?  Oh my hat, how did I get on a list? Is it bad?  Did I get to win something, or what?

One can increase the effect by saying “short list” instead.

What?  I was short-listed for something?

These little mind games remind me of the bus driver I chatted to when I was around 16… middle-aged, fairly bored with the job but faithful, but he amused himself by stuttering the brake and watching the people’s heads go forward in a series of movements like pigeons.

It shows you that the most boring job can be freshened up with a bit of creative humour.  Of course his “test subjects” never suspected the stuttering brake was specially for them!

Have a sweet Friday.  I am not making promises about stories quite yet.

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on ““List, what list?”

  1. I had a friend who, when he was driving a coach (tourist bus), would call over the PA to ask if everyone was happy and enjoying the ride. He’d then tap the brake a coupe of times, causing all the passengers to nod in agreement.
    He told me that it always got a laugh.

  2. There’s the banjo serenader, and the others of his race
    And the piano-organist — I’ve got him on the list!
    And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face
    They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
    Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone
    All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
    And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy
    And who “doesn’t think she dances, but would rather like to try”;
    And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —
    I don’t think she’d be missed — I’m sure she’d not he missed!

    [Chorus]
    He’s got her on the list — he’s got her on the list;
    And I don’t think she’ll be missed — I’m sure she’ll not be missed!
    (The Mikado)

  3. We use Google chat. Have you tried this? We chat to Portugal every day and ‘ride” with Celeste’s brother as he drives around Europe. Generally the reception and the images are pretty good, especially when he is in France or Italy.

  4. With those scary and scarier ‘programs’ these days, I guess some ‘smart brake’ is a good idea 🙂
    Hey, have you checked “The Terrifying Cost of ‘Free’ Websites”? (try the search on youtube). A fun ‘Adam ruins everything’ by CollegeHumor. 🍸

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