Aboard “Le Petit Cochon”
The six crewmembers of Le Petit Cochon were in the galley playing Le Monopoly.
Le Petit Cochon was a small fishing vessel which, in the main, caught small fish and was named in honour of the captain’s second wife. He had that sort of relationship with women. Pernod did not help either.
Remillard, the boat’s cook, served up that most well-known of French dishes, le beef burger avec les chips then resumed his seat at the table. He rolled a four and landed on Le Champs-Elysees.
‘Five thousand francs!’* yelled the first mate, a grizzled old salt named Le Guerre. [*It was a vintage Monopoly set.]
Remillard, who wished everyone would call him Rem after his favourite pop group, was out. That meant as the first player to lose all his money he was obliged to go up on deck and take watch.
‘Merde!’ he swore, as he left the galley carrying a bucket full of potato peelings.
Rem began singing something about the end of the world as we know it.
The rest of the crew repeatedly warned him since his first day aboard not to sing this song as they considered it bad luck.
‘Remillard!’ someone yelled.
‘Pardon!’ he called back.
‘Squawk!’ acknowledged an albatross that landed on top of the wheelhouse.
It was a dark and soon to be stormy night – well it would be, wouldn’t it?
The sea was choppy and heavy clouds were rolling in from the west. It was raining; a freezing, persistent drizzle. As Rem emptied the contents of the bucket over the side he thought he saw something in the water. An intermittent flash caught his eye. It looked like a small red light. Yes, there it was again. Pulling a torch from a pocket of his oilskin he shone it at the dark object floating less than twenty metres from the boat.
The Pourne Identity
by Douglas Pearce
A man in a wet suit is found floating half-drowned in the Mediterranean by the crew of a small fishing boat. He is suffering from amnesia and has no idea who he is or why is he wearing a silver locket with a Viagra tablet inside.
His only clue: the words Pharmacie Coulon. Nice stamped on the tablet.
And so begins a most interesting chapter in the life of Jensen Pourne, marine biologist and soon to be the most wanted man on the planet.
A novel by the inimitable Douglas Pearce, who brews the coffee for photo-and-controversy-blogger Arkenaten. You can view The Ark’s blog here – when the mood takes him he publishes excerpts and short-stories by Pearce.
This jewel of a book is scheduled to be released in e-book format on Honeymead Books, in the next few weeks – in time for Christmas. Get ready for a good, fun read.