about parenting and spoilt brats

http://talinorfali.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/kids-are-so-spoiled-these-days-i-just-never-knew-how-much-until-yesterday

LOL.

Yes, I know it’s bad form to start a blog post with LOL, but:  LOL.  I owe an apology to Talin, the author of above post, for spouting so many comments on her blog!  It was just as though a plug came out and I realized there were things I wanted to tell people…

Just how important that post is, can be seen by the diverse and intense way people commented. So here’s some opinionated fool mother of 3 (me) who thinks she knows it all!  My children are not yet grown up; we are blessed in that none of the three have special needs (in the disabled sense); two of the three are not yet in the high-risk age group for drugs.

I do believe there are certain ways in which parents can make things easier for themselves and their children.

  • Throw out the TV.  Kids can watch the movies they need to watch, on a computer screen.  It’s better for their eyes, and you also limit their negative role models that way.
  • Draw a line.  Explain to them about The Wall.  I pirated this from somewhere, where I had read it, pertaining to Christianity and the Bible rules; the same goes for parenting rules.  We create those rules, and they are a wall.  The more kids bash their heads against the wall, the stronger the wall becomes.  Eventually they’ll know the wall is there and they simply don’t go there.  Because why?  Because on the other side of the wall lies lawlessness, chaos, crime…  break down the wall and civilization breaks down.   (And I’m not talking about the Berlin Wall, LOL!)
  • And be sure of yourself!  If you’re not sure of yourself how can your children be sure you mean what you say?  An older cousin gave me this advice:  Don’t say “no” without thinking.  “No” can mean, “no…. ag, yes.”  Or it can mean, “no… maybe…. well maybe not…. no after all.”  Let your no mean “NO! and basta!”  Then they know and they don’t haggle, and when you want some time to think about it first, tell them!  “Let me think about it.”  If you say “no” then, better give a reason; but expect acceptance.

As I said, I’m not there yet…  long way to go, so if my kids turn out a disaster you have the right to point fingers and say, “told you so”.  (In fact you’ve got the right to do that any time you please; it’s called Freedom of Speech.)

…escaping now.

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4 thoughts on “about parenting and spoilt brats

  1. Thanks for the apology and thanks for the pingback. I appreciate it. Don’t get me wrong, I know not all kids are like that. I thank you so much for pointing out those points.

    • Aw Talin, I got a bit upset about everyone jumping onto your case. Why should they? You’re in your right, and you have observed accurately, we’re living in an era of “entitlement” (especially the youth). People are on average better off than their parents, so they ask themselves why they shouldn’t spoil their children, and they fail to wait for the answer… and the answer is right there! And yes, if a child is a brat, usually look for the parents… Roald Dahl was right!

      You may have noticed I’m a bit of a devil’s advocate, taking 5 different viewpoints. It’s because there are so many possibilities with such a topic. Glad you posted it, and glad you found the pingback. 🙂

  2. Some of the comments were a bit harsh I would say too. Agree or disagree that was her blog & her write up & that’s how she saw it. My role of mom is work in progress. And – I know best (that’s what I think) for how I am trying to raise mine. So- far I’m surviving & so are by 3 kids. My #1 key with them is keeping things real.
    PeACe!
    BTW – Nice meeting you on Talin’s blog & for the follow. Will be following you too.
    PeACe!

    • Heya! Absolutely, that’s the core issue. I’m also one for seeking help the moment I get out of my depth (which used to happen very often, at the moment there’s a peaceful time, I suspect as my kids move into their teen years I’ll be trawling for information again). There’s a lot of improvising, and off-the-cuff going on, but I have to add that I did notice clearly that the company they keep has a great influence – and the cartoons on TV tend to corrupt.
      A pity because we used to love our Loony Tunes – those were the innocent days, when Tom & Jerry were evil to each other without kids having to copy the behaviour.

      Btw thanks for following, 🙂 I’ve “added” your blog too. You pick interesting topics.

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